It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
