so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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