I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
