my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
