My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
