dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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