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What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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