I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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