Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
