As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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