I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
