I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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