Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
