The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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