Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
