There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize