i would punch a child for taco bell
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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