At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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