he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I FOUND THE LEGS
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize