Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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