We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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