You're my little dorito
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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