I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
