Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
