whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
