So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
