Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found the puke drawer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
