That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
love makes seman taste better
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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