just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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