hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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