Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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