I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
