You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
