Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
