Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
