Sponge bath it is.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
