She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think your dad took our porno
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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