Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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