I must be too annoying 4 u.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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