you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize