you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
