pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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