i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
