I wanna bring you to show and tell
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
