You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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