There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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