he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
