I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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