he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
