i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
