We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
