Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
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