i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
