Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling

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(440): View more from Ohio

planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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(303): View more from Colorado

she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment

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(712): View more from Iowa

That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"

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(916): View more from California

Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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(989): View more from Michigan

This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.

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(941): View more from Florida

It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am

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