I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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