google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
