Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
