Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
